A year without Mum.
A year ago today, my world fell apart when I lost my mum. Nothing can prepare you for such a thing, and despite being a year on, it still feels like yesterday.
When I was still at uni, I used to work at a bar that was a 7 minute walk from my house. In those 7 minutes I would phone Mum and tell her everything about my day, whether it was about the mark I’d got in an assignment or the Pot Noodle that I’d had for breakfast.
This post is what I would tell the only person who ever listened to all the nonsense I had to say – if I had just one more 7 minute call with Mum.
“In terms of travelling, things haven’t changed and I still can’t keep my feet still for more than two minutes. Going to Cornwall with Dad (which we did after the funeral) just wasn’t the same any more, so I decided to turn it into a new memory by going to Fowey again in June, but this time with Jay and I got to see Jack Johnson for a second time!
As well as those little trips, I also went back to Paris to see a good friend who I worked with in America and Jay and I went to Barcelona in Easter. That definitely has to be one of my favourite places ever! We went back to Reading Festival this year as well and went to Olü Deniz in Turkey for our main holiday, which was awesome!
You’ll also be pleased to know that I managed to gatecrash another one of Dad’s holidays by meeting him in Milan for 4 days when he went to France and Italy for 6 weeks.
But here are some things that you might not be so pleased about…
Just before the funeral, I blew £140 of money that I didn’t have on a pair of Uggs, BUT they’re the comfiest things I’ve ever worn! And a couple of weeks later I started pole dancing, BUT it’s so good for you and actually really popular now! I’ve also sold Suzie Snot as she was beginning to struggle with all the miles I was doing in her, so I’ve bought a shiny new Astra! (And he’s black, not a horrendous bright green.)
You’ll probably be gutted to find out that I no longer work for Thomas Cook. They had a massive re-structure of my department and moved it to London! I didn’t want to take my new role down there, so I left. However, I got an interview for a similar job in Kettering, offering better money, and I got it! It was my first ever proper interview! God knows how I did it without you.
Oh, and I might’ve got a new tattoo… I’m sorry! But it’s of your favourite flowers and it’s my last one, I promise!
To make up for it all, I did run the London Marathon for you this year, and in the process raised £4,204 for the Multiple System Atrophy Trust to try and help prevent other sufferers and their families from going through what we’ve been through. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done, but I’m pretty proud because I trained for the 26.2 mile run and raised all that money with just 3 months notice instead of the usual 8 months. And they only asked for £1,500!
Dad nearly missed it all though after being stuck in New York because of a stupid ash cloud. Long story…
Anyway, I’m still gutted that you’re missing Coronation Street, but Jay is looking after me (we celebrated our 4 year anniversary last week), my bedroom is tidy and your 2-year-old granddaughter is still the most amazing thing on this Earth.”
I suppose the one good thing that can be said about today is that it marks the end of the hardest year of my life.
Just wanted you to know I’ve read this and am thinking about you and I’m still here if you need me.